Seasons of Emotion was the second collection of poetry that I put together in 1994. I guess these days you would call it self-published, but back then it was essentially “printed at home”. I printed personalised copies for families and friends with dedication pages in the front. I look back on these poems now and see them as rudimentary - very much in the realm of a teenager.  But it is interesting looking back on them now, and even all these years later, remembering the stories behind some of them.

On the cover page of the collection was the following verse:

Poetry’s a season,
In which one does not train,
But merely lets the rhythm flow,
Through sun and clouds and rain.
Poetry’s a feeling,
An endless burning notion,
The fluctuating love and tears,
Are Seasons of Emotion.
 

A Closing Thought - I remember intentionally making this the first poem in the collection, just for the irony. Although it was written for one person in particular, this poem was true of many young people I met through camps in my teenage years, where previous hurt made it difficult for them to connect and trust people, and how special it was when they did offer that trust.

A Friend I've Found - It's interesting looking back on this poem, because I remember at the time I was grappling with what I guess you would call some one-sided friendships, or perhaps unequal friendships.  The sense of knowing that my friendship was being taken advantage of, or taken for granted, but not wanting that to change me or make me less willing to be there for people.

Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring - These were actually the first four poems written specifically for the collection. This was a different challenge for me, because most of my poems were written to people or inspired by people, whereas these were set topics that I gave myself to sit down and write a poem about.

Never Failing - This was definitely a self-reflective piece. I was at an age where I had started to see those younger than me start to overtake me in certain achievements. And it was that strange mix of being really proud of them and cheering them on, but at the same time feeling that I was perhaps coasting in life and not failing at things because I was playing it safe. (Classic perfectionist - seeing the achievements of others and feeling completely inadequate in my own achievements!)

That Starry Night - I used to make Christmas cards each year, each with a new poem.  This was one of those poems.

Worth Dying For - This was written about Easter, and a (somewhat clumsy) attempt to put the gospel message in a poem.

By The Creekside - This poem was written while literally sitting by the side of a creek, and I think that it was reflective of my life at the time, which revolved around many of my close friends being those I knew through camp.  And back then, there was no internet or mobile phones - it was a much less connected world. So I would have these close friendships that would be intense for a week of camp, and then I would not see them for months.

I Still Call Her a Friend - There's not much difficulty in reading between the lines on this one, as it was basically putting my thoughts and feelings into writing and making it rhyme. That place of wanting to trust somebody, wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt, caring for them and wanting to be a good friend - but at the same time knowing that they are lying to your face.

Having Patience - Being a camp leader can be an amazing time, but there were also some hard weeks. I think this was after leading a group of guys whose goal for the week was to make my life a misery.

Sometimes Friendship Hurts - When you care for somebody and they care for somebody else. But then that somebody else breaks their heart, so they turn to you for comfort, and in doing so hurt you all the more.

Morning of a New Year - A short poem written on the 1st of January!

My Special Place - I think I was more idealistic back then, but the sentiment was nice - that no matter the circumstances I would be able to step back and find “my special place”

Tears of Joy - The pondering of a teenager trying to grapple with seeing meaning through trials and pain.

Corinthian Love - Taking the famous love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13 and turning it into a poem.

By Faith - Exploring the concept of faith and how it is intertwined throughout all of life.

Success - Some thoughts on the tru nature of success

I Remember - When a friendship has been close and then loses that closeness, it can be easy to forget the good times. This was me remembering both the good and the bad.

I'm there for you - I think that for a lot of my teenage years, that this poem summed up my heart - I just wanted to be there for people, or at least for people to know that they were not alone. That if they ever needed somebody, they could always call on me. But at the same time, almost being apologetic for that. Trying to find the balance between being there for people, but not inserting myself into their life if they didn't want me there (which, of course, was my assumption that people didn't really want me in their life - Thanks low self esteem!)

Never Doubt the Fire - I actually like this poem as an encouragement, so I hope it doesn't ruin it that I wrote it after watching Mrs Doubtfire!

Our Heart's Home - The opening line of this poem was so true of so many young people that I met through camp - where there was a smile on their face concealing deep hurt inside. And it often broke me, where I would see a kid as carefree and happy until they opened up about how they truly felt on the inside. And so many times there was nothing you could do except listen and be there.

True Friends - A short poem that encompasses the journey from idealism to despair to a more grounded view of the world and the reality that relationships are imperfect - but that's okay.

Saying Goodbye - A cute little poem about friendship (and yes it was intentionally the last poem in the collection)