I can’t understand what’s happening,
I just can’t comprehend,
How though I can’t place trust in her,
I still call her a friend.
I’m praying for her every night,
Yet every single day
I’m finding that I have to fight,
To believe what she’ll say.
It’s as though she’s trying to trick me,
Because she knows I care.
She’ll take advantage of me,
‘Cause I’ll always be there.
I guess I’m just complaining,
Although I can’t blame her.
I set my standards way too high
Without stopping to confer.
And now I’ve found confusion,
I don’t know what to do.
This problem’s tearing me apart,
I’m torn in more than two.
There’s part of me that’s feeling hurt
And wants to run away.
But that would leave me miserable,
And the problem there to stay.
There’s part of me that wants to talk,
And tell her how I feel.
To show her how she’s hurting me,
And that my hurt is real.
The rest of me just doesn’t know,
And so I sit to write.
I know that if I pray to God,
That it will be all right.
I still think of her as a friend,
A friend who I adore.
I once thought our friendship would not end,
But now I’m not that sure.

By Lloyd McLean (1993)

This poem is part of the Seasons of Emotion collection